What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What is the meaning of xx in texting?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What is the irony of life according to you?

What! how could you do that?

Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

How are Hinduism and Sikhism related, considering they both originated in Punjab, India?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do people who were very kind and loving once become cold-hearted?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why cant I motivate myself to go to school (grade 10)?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?